it's all about me in 2012 . . .

Susan Bock member since Feb'10

19k rep

Today is a new day! After an appointment this morning, I am going for a drive in the mountains. I plan to make a few stops along the way. I need to see other things besides the hospital and my four walls.
It is so nice to have you back Miss Dawn. I am anxious to hear what you have been up to. You say it is quite embarrassing? From what Miss Lisa has shared with me, I don't think what you have been doing is anything to be embarrassed over.
I have been blessed throughout this detour in my journey. I'm finding a lot of things ut abut myself.
Have a great day all!
Love, Susan

posted : 7/19/2012 at 9:32 AM

Laura Steward member since Jul'11

23k rep

Miss Dawn - nothing is embarrassing here. We are all on a journey - sometimes it detours, sometimes it derails for a bit. The important thing is - we know where we want to get to (even when we lose sight of it for a bit)!! Share whatever you feel comfortable with! We are just glad to have you back Happy

Thanks for the compliment on the dress too. I am having fun wearing some things I would have never been caught dead in a year ago. It feels pretty great!!

Miss Susan - that sounds like an awesome ideaHappy Go out and see some sights, spend some times marveling at anything that catches your eye! Day dream if you feel the desire. Do some soul searching for lack of a better word. We don't do that stuff often enough.

Love you both to pieces!! Talk to you soon Lovestruck Lovestruck

posted : 7/19/2012 at 12:08 PM

MONET0329 member since Jun'10

4.9k rep

awesome idea SusanHappy wish we all could just load up and go with you..Sad .. but wouldn't that be fun.. hehe.. so while your out there taking in all the sites.. just know we are there with ya in spirit.. Grin ..

love ya!! BIG hugs!

posted : 7/19/2012 at 4:18 PM

MONET0329 member since Jun'10

4.9k rep

Laura.. Hello girly! and yes.. you look pretty in that dress..:).. I haven't worn a dress in YEARS.. wow.. I can't wait till I can again.. and look like a lady.. hehe..

you deserve it lady!!Grin

posted : 7/19/2012 at 4:19 PM

dusky d member since Jun'10

7.8k rep

Susan, I sooooo love your positive attitude. It really shows up in the way you write here. alt text

Laura? I just realized something . . . do you know you are only about 6 hours-ish away? That's not very far at all! Hmmmmmm . . . a road trip really sounds good about now. Wink

Sorry Susan, you are about 18-20 hours away. Sad BUT! Did you know that you are almost directly west of us? I was looking at the map and you could almost draw a straight line from indianapolis to loveland! I thought that was pretty cool! Happy

Okay . . . here's the thing . . . knee went bad, really bad. Could hardly walk . . . didn't want to workout, COULDN'T do cardio - only had a trainer appointment once a week. I couldn't get into my nutritional program. I just couldn't find my groove anymore.

At first I tried to keep up with the diet, but slowly but surely, fat food started to creep in until I was hopelessly lost amongst a sea of restaurants. I was eating out every night . . . weekends were really bad . . . I'd eat out all day!

Then came the forgetting of taking my meds. Not good, ladies. Not good at all! Worried Without thyroid regulation, your metabolism shuts down and the end result is disturbing, VERY disturbing. I knew I was gaining weight again . . . i knew i needed to stop the self-destruction, but I just didn't try. I realized just yesterday what had happened - I had become a victim of my emotions, but I'm now in a place where I can combat it - mentally. My dad sat me down and gave me a talking to . . . he got me to thinking about this and that and the other . . .

Anyway, although I have been training with a new trainer twice a week now for a few weeks, it's taken me until this week to get my mind right. Nutrition should be following shortly. Right now i'm getting portion sizes under control again. Soon Lisa and I will be following the same plan.

So . . . the shot in my knee finally took hold and it is MUCH better. I had a shot in my ankle last week and am waiting for it to take effect, so soon, I should be back at the cardio machines.

I'm sorry I was gone so long. I was busy at first with Bible study and such, but then I just got so embarrassed by my lack of progress and regression that I wanted to hide from you guys.

posted : 7/19/2012 at 4:49 PM

Laura Steward member since Jul'11

23k rep

Well - first off let me say this to you LOUD & CLEAR.....The story you have told above is not something to be embarrassed about. It is one to learn from. If you knew how many times in my life I have lost & gained back the same 50 pounds (and then some) before going totally off the reservation - you would look at me like I had two heads.

But here is the important part - if you can objectively look at what you went through & what mentally happened - you can & will grow from the experience. No matter what happens to us - there is always something to be discovered about ourselves.

Right now my dear, dear Dawn - you have two choices 1) choose to learn from this & become stronger & even more determined or 2) hide from us and yourself.
You came back to us - so I think know the choice you made! We got your back girl - no matter what!!!!

posted : 7/19/2012 at 9:30 PM

Susan Bock member since Feb'10

19k rep

I really can't add anything to what Miss Laura posted. You are loved by so many of us Miss Dawn. I know you will take what you have learned from these experiences and dive right back in. I look so forward to seeing this group come back to life. We all need each other.
I had a wonderful day in the mountains. I am exhausted , but it was worth it. I wish all of you could have come too miss Lisa.
Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

posted : 7/19/2012 at 11:53 PM

dusky d member since Jun'10

7.8k rep

What I think I learned from this is to take it slow and easy instead of attacking it. I've been like someone who gets into a rowboat and has 12 miles to go to get to the destination, going flat out, full bore right off the bat . . . no one can maintain this . . . I need slow and steady. I've never tried it that way before.

Susan, I'm glad you enjoyed your time. Rest up . . . I look forward to coming back in here regularly and chatting. Happy

posted : 7/20/2012 at 6:12 AM

MONET0329 member since Jun'10

4.9k rep

Laura ..well saidHappy
Susan.. loved hearing that your lil trip went wellHappy

Miss Dawny.. we can do thisHappy ..

at work.. so I gotta go.. have a great day ladies..Grin

posted : 7/20/2012 at 9:45 AM

Laura Steward member since Jul'11

23k rep

Hi Ladies - help me out here... I have reached the end of my rope & I have tied a big knot but I am afraid I will lose my grip very soon....

People are cold hearted, rude, mean, idiotic, judgmental and any other thing I can think of right now. I just went on a 45 minute power walk and in that time I was MOO'D at twice, called a lazy fat f*ck once, and the topper - someone actually threw a slurpee type drink out their car window at me "In case I get hungry"... I have no words to express how disappointed I am in the human race.... Well - I do - but I cannot publish them here.

I am sitting here in tears - defeated.

posted : 7/20/2012 at 9:24 PM

Susan Bock member since Feb'10

19k rep

Miss Laura,
I'm at a loss for words. My heart hurts for you my friend.
I'm not going to tell you "just ignore it" or "turn the other cheek.". If you are like me, I ran out of other cheeks a long time ago.
Just take a deep breath if you can, and say a prayer of thanks to God. Thank Him for giving you the ability to love yourself enough to take control of your life and the strength to stick to your convictions. You are a beautiful woman inside and out.
I know what I'm saying ddoesn't take the hurt away.
When Jay Leno made fun of me and my accomplishments in 2008, I was humiliated. Something in me changed that day. I made up my mind to never let unkind, rude, ignorant people have the power to make me doubt my right to be happy and feel like I belong in society.
Hold your head high my friend. You are a strong, smart, and sweet woman. And you are loved. I'm sending you a virtual hug!Angel

posted : 7/20/2012 at 10:45 PM

Laura Steward member since Jul'11

23k rep

Thanks so much Miss Susan! Yes - I ran out of other cheeks a long time ago as well. It's not it's the first time I have been made fun of, or called names... so I am not sure why it hit me so hard - other than it was four different cars of people, and I have changed so much and I had thought the world might have moved on from the place where it is okay to go out of your way to hurt someone else. I was soooo very wrong.
But I will not let it stop me. I will over come & keep on my journey. Just needed a night's sleep to resolve it in my head. Thanks so much for the kind words.

posted : 7/21/2012 at 8:56 AM

dusky d member since Jun'10

7.8k rep

Laura, I read what you wrote with such shock, horror, and disbelief! I always give people the benefit of the doubt that they are kind, considerate, and loving and they always disappoint. I'm so sorry you were hurt like you were, but more importantly, I am so glad that Susan was able to say what she said. I am happy you could come here and tell us the story and get it out of your system instead of letting if fester . . .

I thank you Susan for your oh, so, wise words. And I'm glad a good nights sleep has given you a different perspective this morning, Laura.Happy

How are you today Ms. Lisa? Busy?

posted : 7/21/2012 at 10:02 AM

MONET0329 member since Jun'10

4.9k rep

Hello ladies..Happy ..

Laura.. this reminds me of the movie Shallow Hal.. :/ ..

people amaze me with the things they do now days.. its sad..:(..

Susan said what I was thinking..:)

You don't even look like you're that big in your picture.. I am a BIG lady and havent had all that.. but I do remember when I was out dancing one night.. someone from a dark corner yelled.. " You Go Re-Run".. I love to dance , but from that moment on, I would not go dancing with my friends..:(..

Re-Run, for those of you who may not remember , was a big black kid on a sitcom who could dance really well. I loved that show.. but wow..

anyway.. keep that head held high.. theres always gonna be an up hill battle.( like the song says) .we just have to keep fighing..

love ya girly!!hugs

D.. YES I've been a busy girl today here at work..Happy

posted : 7/21/2012 at 2:23 PM

Laura Steward member since Jul'11

23k rep

Hi Miss Lisa - I currently weigh 198 - so to most - I am still the super huge fat chick (especially since I am only 5'2". That doesn't bother too much as when I started my journey - I weighed 305. I never really got that much attention when I was 305... But I also didn't ever really put myself in a position to be seen. I would have never been out walking in public in a pair of compression capris, a tank top and sneakers. But you know what?? "F" em. If their lives are so devoid of anything good that they feel the need to make fun of me - let em. I know who I am & what I want - they will NOT hinder me or hurt me in any way!!

Funny you mention Re-Run - I was once called that at a club too.... I haven't gone dancing in years..... You know what - a friend of mine is in a band & they are playing at a local club in a few weeks. I am gonna go & shake what mt mama gave me! If they don't like how I look - they don't have to watch me. I am done living in the corner ashamed of what I look like or who I am.

I am big - inside & out! Get over it!!!! I did Happy Now I am going to live for me - to make me healthy, happy & strong.

posted : 7/21/2012 at 9:44 PM

reply to this conversation