How do you get over worrying bout what others think?

297 rep

MemberFitchburg, WI

I am a plus size female that has struggled with my weight all my life. I just recently started working out at AF and so far love it. The only problem I am having is getting over the thoughts that someone is watching me and making fun of me. I have always been afraid of gym's because I am bigger and I am afraid that others are talking bout me in the gym. I can just hear them "what is she doing here, shouldn't she be out eating a donut or something?"

Is there any of advise that you might have to help me get over the fear of what others are saying or thinking so that I can get a better workout in. As soon as I feel that others are judging me, I leave.

Am I just worried for nothing?

166 rep

MemberMississauga, ON

Yes you are worried for nothing. Keep going to the gym, you are doing it for yourself. Confidence is built a little at a time, ask a trainer for help, look online for new exercise tips. The important thing is to keep at it.
Don't worry about anyone else worry about what you have to do to make you feel better and look better.

498 rep

MemberMurrysville, PA

Try to remember that even if everyone there has a "perfect" body (doubt it!), they probably were in the same place you were some time ago.

As Dr. Phil has said, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think
about you if you know how little they even do." Most people are more worried about what their workouts are doing for them to be concerned with whether someone heavier is doing. If anything, they probably admire that you are taking control of the situation and working out.

Good luck!

12k rep

TrainerSouth St. Paul, MN

I have spent the majority of my life worrying about what others think, and being overly self conscious, and in the past few years I have really tried to live in the moment and live "outside" of myself, by paying attention to my surroundings more, and not wasting energy on what others think (because it is wasted energy.) I used to think that I was pigeon holed into being a shy person, but the truth is if you step outside of your comfort zone for long enough you will start to get a degree of comfort with it, and the longer you do it the more comfortable you will be. But none of the above is possible without making the attempt to conquer your fears.

As briefly suffocating as our fears can be when we attempt to try something new, there is a much worse suffocation that occurs when we only stay inside our comfort zone..and that is the suffocation of much of life itself, because when we stay inside of our comfort zones were missing out on so many paths we might have gone down that could have expanded our minds/perspectives/etc. Expanding is what makes life fun and a challenge. It is not easy to do, but if everything were all ready decided or done for us there would be no point to life itself.

Therefore the more you get into the gym, the more you will be familiar with it, and soon it will be not any different than making the bed.

Also, try living in the moment while you workout..i.e working on focusing on your breathing, working the muscle(s) that are supposed to be working, and doing everything with controlled movements..if you do that there will be little time/energy left to reflect on what others are thinking. Rather your mind will be on catching your breath and getting that much needed sip of water.

If the above doesn't work read the book "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle..twice!

815 rep

I know what you mean. I'm thirty years old and pushing 400 lbs and I too have the same thoughts. I go in to my local AF, get on the treadmill for 45-60 minutes and by the time I hit the 20 minute mark, I've soaked my clothes, I've got sweet dripping on the machine all the time thinking the skinnies are talking, thinking, pointing, laughing at me...but I push through. I think to my self I don't care if your talking, pointing, laughing at me, I'm not hear to make you look good. I'm hear to make myself look good, feel good, try harder, push harder. Remember your not there for them. Your there for you. Who cares what they think, it only matter what you think. Good luck and keep with it, it does get easier.

311 rep

MemberRichmond, IN

Ashley I've been to many gyms and anytime fitness has the best support system I've ever seen in gyms my parents are both very heavy set and the support they get in the gym is unbelievable the point of a gym is to improve your health so the fact that you're doing something about your weight is the bigger picture that's what i see in you and heavyset people doing anything active keep up the work.

182 rep

MemberBrownsburg, IN

Periodically I think the same thing, except I'm on the opposite end, i'm skinny with a beer gut. But I just remember what I'm there for and if someone is making fun of me in their mind, they won't be in 6 months. They are going to start worrying about what they are doing wrong and why they aren't getting results like me. Keep it up!

162 rep

MemberHarvey, MI

Keep focusing on you! AF members are the most supportive I have ever experienced.

837 rep

AlumniClear Lake, IA

I noticed in my AF, most of the people are OW (overweight). I am one of them. There are your bodybuilders and highschool track kids, but everyone in there is goal oriented. I have also found when you ask some of the BB's ?'s, they are right there helping you out and giving you pointers, some will even become motivators trying to help you make more of your workout.

223 rep

MemberSheboygan, WI

I use to be afraid to exercise in front of other people too. I had so many self image issues that I let it cripple me emotionally for a long time. Just about everybody I've met that go to the gym have struggled with their own weight problems and their own self image issues...the same as us. So it makes me feel better knowing I'm not alone. Some of the thinner people who work out and the muscular people who work out had struggles with their weight just like we do. We all have the same goal. To be healthy, to be happy and to move forward with a positive attitude and a whole new outlook on life! You can do it!!

735 rep

My motto has always been, "When they start paying my bills, then I'll worry about what they think".
People who judge, or have something crappy to think or say are obviously miserable on the inside. Dont worry about them, worry about you!

107 rep

MemberPullman, WA

Fflattliner nails it. Don't worry about what others think. If they are too busy judging others, they really need to get busy working on their own fitness goals. I'm no physical specimen by any stretch of the imagination. Whenever I have a moment where I think I would rather be anywhere else but at AF, I just remind myself of the goals I've laid out as well as the financial commitment I've made with my membership. You are there for you and no one else.

671 rep

MemberHastings, MN

think of it as "they can watch my lose this weight...you just wait & see." I think people watch me too but I am worrying about nothing. Keep going...you will LOVE yourself or it!

671 rep

MemberHastings, MN

typos "you will love yourself for it"

104 rep

MemberCanton, GA

I have the same issue as you-Although I have only been an AF member for a week or two, I tend to go late at night. Mainly between 11:00 and 11:30 and stay until 1:00am only because there really isn't anyone there. I'm very self conscious about myself and am always wondering how big of an idiot I look like to others. Before I signed up with AF, I had never stepped foot inside of a gym before in my life! So no, I don't know how to use the equipment (i can use the treadmills lol) so I tend to shy away from going during the day in order to not have t worry about so many people being there as well.

I'm not saying that's what you should do. I think we both need to find a workout buddy to go with us, that way it would help us keep our minds off what other people think.

7k rep

MemberZion Crossroads, VA

Hi Ashley, I totally agree with everybody and completely understand how you feel. I joined AF on NYE so I just reached my first full month of membership. When I joined I weighed 285, this morning I weighed in at 267. Couldn't believe it so I got on and off the scale four times. I go early in the am, 5:30 6 days a week and there are only a few folks there. We all sort of recognize each other but we are all each very into exactly what we came there for. Everybody has their own goals and that's why they are there. I take inspiration from my co-workouters because everybody is so focused, most, if not all pull out their work out cards and chip away at each task on their to-do list. Find a buddy to go with you if possible, if that's not possible everyday just try to focus on you. Remember, those thoughts in your head are likely just that thoughts in your head. You can do this!

"Do, or do not, there is no try." Yoda