Health is a serious thing. But sometimes we take ourselves a bit too seriously. Chuckle your way through the day with my “oh so” silly way. I promise you will LOL after reading Twinkle Twinkle Little Scale.

Betty Botter

Betty Botter bought some butter,
But, she said, I should be better.
If I put this in my batter,
It will make my booty bigger.
I should not be a butter biter.
I should cook with something lighter.

So, she went light on the butter.
Better food she tried to feed ‘er.
Tried to treat her body better,
And her fanny got more fitter.
So, ‘twas better Betty Botter
Bought herself a better body.

Slow, Slow, Slow Your Bloat

Slow, slow, slow your bloat.
Don’t eat so much ice cream.
Healthy, healthy, healthy, healthy.
Live the life you dream.

Twinkle Twinkle Little Scale

Twinkle, twinkle little scale.
How you make me want to wail.
With your number, oh so high.
Why’d I eat that cherry pie?
Twinkle, twinkle little scale.
Next week’ll be a different tale!

It's Raining, It's Hailin’

It’s raining, it’s hailin’,
My diet plan is failin’;
Grabbed some peach ice tea,
And watched TV,
And paid for it at my weigh-in.

The Nothin’ Man

Oh, do you know the nothin’ man?
The nothin’ man, the nothin’ man?
He wants you to do nothin’, man,
And he lives inside your brain.

Oh, yes, I know the nothin’ man.
The nothin’ man, the nothin’ man.
I know he wants me to do nothin’, man,
So I kicked him outta my brain.

Solomon Chunky

Solomon Chunky,
Began on Monday,
Chinese on Tuesday,
Buffet on Wednesday,
Happy Hour Thursday,
Pizza on Friday,
Dieted on Saturday,
Gained on Sunday,
Nothing ends For Solomon Chunky.

Mary Had a Little Limb

Mary had a little limb,
It was as weak as water.
That’s because she wouldn’t work out,
The way that Mary oughta.

Mary went to the gym one day
To see what weights would gain her.
She didn’t know just what to do,
So she hired a personal trainer.

Six months later, things have changed,
And you should see Mary flex.
No one who’s been around her now,
Calls her the “weaker sex.”

There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In a Gym

There was an old woman who lived in a gym.
She had a great body, with legs lean and trim.
You never would guess that she’s in her 80’s,
But that’s how it goes with super-fit ladies.

Jack Sht is the chief idea mechanic behind the weight loss/healthy living site, Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit. When not dispensing “health tips” and weight loss and/or dating advice, he’s busy in his workshop creating candy-corn sculptures of exotic animals that he sells at local flea markets, festivals and truck stops. A Google search of the term “Jack Sht: America’s Greatest Hero” produces zero results.*